This post is inspired by a post by Alexandra Adams, the UK's first deaf-blind medical student (her blog post is linked at the end of this post). She's been in hospital for around 9 months now and has written about her experiences as a patient and healthcare professional. At times, it's heart-breaking and she shares brutal truths like that as healthcare professionals, you're 'automatically expected to cope with pain better, understand and process the complexities of our own procedures better' and also shares insensitive and insulting quips from colleagues, such as "And how do you expect an invalid like her to run the NHS?”. A truly disgusting attitude, a wholly unnecessary comment. Fortunately I haven't personally had experiences as bad as this, but I have definitely overheard comments which I wasn't supposed to and those comments stung.
I have my own array of heath problems, both physical and mental. I've been a type 1 diabetic for over 15 years, and have been in hospital with DKA once and a severe hypo once. I've lived with mental health problems and (recently diagnosed) autism which have led to 3 inpatient psychiatric hospital stays and countless more A&E trips.
This is alongside some weird reactions to medication that led to runs of supraventricular tachycardia and syncope, bruxism, rashes and transaminitis, lasting months, and massively interfering with my working life.
Similarly to Alexandra, I've had my fair share of comments that I 'should know better' (what does this even mean???) or that I don't need tests, procedures, medications explained to me because I should already know what they're for. Often times I do already know. There are times when I've politely cut someone off as they've painstakingly explained the ins and outs of an ECG. But equally, there's been times where I've been in hospital, delirious and terrified, and all I've wanted is for someone to treat me gently and explain what's going on because at that point, I'm not a nurse. I don't work in the hospital, and I don't necessarily know what's happening- nor should I be expected to. I will always be a human first, and a nurse second, as will any healthcare professional when they are vulnerable and in hospital, in need of care from others.
To suggest that healthcare professionals should be able to avoid ill health better than anyone else, or should be able to tolerate worse symptoms and higher pain than someone else purely because they work in the industry? Unfortunately, that's not how it works. It's pure nonsense. No other industry holds it's workers to a higher level of accountability in the same way.
However, I do appreciate that there is a line to be drawn at some point. The NMC does require that nurses and midwives be fit enough to practice, with 'skills, knowledge, health and character to do their job safely and effectively' and therefore certain standards must be met, This is what led to me taking time out of ICU prior to leaving- my health just wasn't at the level at which I could look after myself and others.
I wholeheartedly believe that having the conditions that I do, and having the experiences as a patient that I do, makes me a better nurse. As Alexandra points out, experiencing the 'ups and downs of lived experience' acts as sparks of inspiration for a career in healthcare.
It means when I say to a diabetic patient that I understand how frustrating it is, I really truly do understand and empathise. Or when I reassure a delirious patient that they're safe and that whatever they're experiencing isn't real, I can comprehend how real that hallucination feels to them. This heightened empathy is 'all thanks to my lived experiences of being a patient on the other side of the hospital bed'.
Disclosing medical conditions to patients can be a bit of a grey area. Usually I wouldn't share that information with my patients, because in the moment in which I am caring for them, I am the professional and I don't want to blur the lines of professionalism. However, I have had times when I have shared this. An example was a patient with diabetes who was getting incredibly frustrated about not being in control of their diabetes management whilst in ICU. I explained to them that I understood how scary and annoying it was to have your usual control taken away (as Alexandra points out, 'Don’t ever tell me again that we as patients are not the experts…'), and I think they really appreciated that it wasn't just me saying that, but that I genuinely could understand the situation and therefore was in a good place to try and do something about it- from then on, I made sure to ask them if they wanted to do their own finger pricks for capillary blood sugar readings and made sure to handover to the next shift that this was something I had done, and that the patient appreciated.
I'm going to be a patient in some capacity or another for the rest of my life. And I truly hope that my nursing career will span a huge number of years alongside this. The last thing I want is for my health to interfere with my profession more than it already has. All I can do is hope that I can continue to use my lived experience of mental and physical illness to help others- for that, I will always be grateful to be a patient alongside being a nurse.
Love, Christie x
References-
NMC (2020) 'What is fitness to practice?' https://www.nmc.org.uk/concerns-nurses-midwives/dealing-concerns/what-is-fitness-to-practise/
Alexandra Elaine Adams (2021) https://setting-sights.blog/2021/03/17/doctors-can-be-patients-too/
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